Building according to God’s plan

"Be sure that you make everything according to the pattern I have shown you here on the mountain.” (Exodus 25:40)

     These words echoed in my mind during a recent reading through the book of Exodus.  God, the Creator of all things, was telling Moses to build a Tabernacle exactly according to plan. What a task!   I wondered, “What was Moses thinking?  Did he ask; can I do it?  Who will help me? Where will I get the materials? Who will pay for all of this?” Now, while I cannot know for sure what Moses was thinking, it is obvious from the text that even if he had concerns such as these, it did not stop him from obeying God. That’s right, Moses obeyed. He got to work and God provided all that he needed. God provided skilled craftsmen, laborers, all the materials and finances required to finish the job. In fact, the text tells us that God stirred up the hearts of His people so that they gave even more than was needed to complete the project.  Moses discovered that it is a joy to build according to God’s plan. No matter how daunting the task, if we follow God’s directions and trust Him, He provides everything we need to accomplish the work.

Nancy finds “the-God-of-the-breakthrough”

 I was referred to the Philadelphia Access Center in September, 2005. It was not the first time that someone had suggested I try professional counseling, and like the other times, I just blew it off).

     My attitude was that there was no way I was going to open up about my personal business to a “stranger.” I thought, “Strangers don’t care! It’s just a job! Fifty minutes with this nut, then move on to the next!” These were my thoughts when it came to “seeking help.” I couldn’t have been more wrong! In July 2005, the same torment that had beset me since I was 16 years old returned but this time with more power and anger than I had ever experienced. I’ve always had a quick temper but it was now harder to control. This time the anger had turned to a ferocious rage that was abusive. The abuse was not only verbal but it was turning to a physical abuse in the form of destruction of property and hitting my sister.

     When Philadelphia Access Center Counselor Kim Oleksak returned my call she asked me if I could relate to her some of the issues I was dealing with. I could hardly speak because of the tears. I scheduled an appointment for October 18th. I kept the appointment and when I left the office I felt hopeful. Unfortunately, on October 20th I had a complete mental breakdown. At that time I was removed from my home, in handcuffs, by the police who then placed me in the back of a police car. I couldn’t help but think that I was 53 at the time, saved for 30 years, a Bible teacher, a Pentecostal believer and I’ve never been in trouble. I came up in the ’60s, for goodness sake, and never tried any drugs—and here I sit in a cop car!I was unable to get a grip so I ended up in a mental hospital for 10 days.

     The day after I was discharged from that place I had an appointment with Kim—that was over a year ago—and I’ve yet to miss an appointment. I just wanted help and I was willing to do whatever it took to get to the root of my trouble. It seemed that for several of my early appointments all I did was cry (really more like sob!). I was always embarrassed to cry but Kim was so very tender, kind, and loving,. She created a safe environment for me. I was freely able to release tears that were pent up for decades.

     I know that I have a long way to go in my healing but I have found a source of strength in knowing that Kim is willing to walk alongside me. Her focus has been to direct my attention on the Lord, to be dependent on Him. She has guided me in seeking a more intimate relationship with God. Her encouragement has enabled me to quickly turn to the open, loving arms of Abba Father. I am still at times hesitant in trusting the Lord but I am not anywhere near where I was one year ago. I still have hurts, wounds, and scars that I have never spoken about. There are words that have cut so deeply that I can’t say the word without tears but there is a day coming when I will walk in total freedom because of the ministry of the Access Center and Kim. I am willing to trust her enough to let her lead me to the place I need to go to get the healing I need. One reason I am safe with Kim, and willing to trust her, is because Kim does everything for the Lord’s Glory. I am blessed with her humility. - Nancy Laxton

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